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13 May

Townsville Bowen Therapy – Living with change, the balance thing

We are all just like those chimps in their new cage – some of us are exploring and playing, and some of us banging on the door to go back home. It is perfectly normal and we can’t help the way our brains work. What we can do is understand our family members may think the opposite to each other…someone will always be wanting to do what someone else doesn’t – just like the chimpanzee family. But there is one thing we humans can do that chimps might not understand. We call it compromise.

Compromise is a powerful part of our intellectual reasoning – it’s not natural, we’re not born with compromise. Compromise must be learnt, usually the hard way – after a lot of arguing. Yet once we know how to compromise, it should always be a part of our interaction with others – forcing your left-brained same or right-brained change on everyone around you is unlikely to be sucessful in the long term – and it could be a fast way to a lonely unfulfilled life – and even left-brained ‘same people’ don’t usually want that.

The best way of approaching compromise is to understand what each party is thinking and needs as an outcome. If you’re a ‘change person’ who likes trying new food or adventures but comes up against the stubborn immovability of a ‘same person’ – then dragging them kicking and screaming to a change may evoke even more hostility to you and that change. Remember, ‘same people’ are physically stressed by change – so change for them needs to be made as calmly and slowly as possible. No sudden moves. And these guys usually aren’t big on surprises. However once introduced to a change they will probably begin to enjoy it and all the fuss and trouble will be behind them.

Now, if you’re a ‘same person’ who wants to eat the same thing for breakfast every morning and go to the same places at the same time every week…you are making things very stale for the ‘change person’ in your life. No doubt they’ve been pressing you to try something different, and more than likely you’ve been resisting because you “like things the way they are”. And of course, you don’t like surprises so you don’t surprise your ‘change person’ either. Well, here’s a big hint for you. Do a surprise. Make an effort. Do something different…yes you. It doesn’t have to be every day, but once in a while try a different place or thing with your ‘change person’ – they’ll certainly like it, and who knows…you might too. Give it a try…schedule yourself a surprise day.